We've cruised once before and learned alot from reading the message boards at www.cruisecritic.com. This time, we decided to start there to research and get excited about our cruise. Sheesh...you could almost do a "virtual" cruise by just reading about everyone else's cruise (word of warning - read too many stories and you're likely to want to book more than one cruise!!!)

Here are the highlights:

Do's (mostly according to posters at CruiseCritic.com - we summarize for your reference only...)
 

• Bring your "Port-a-Walgreens" with you or else you'll be spending a fortune to replace forgotten suntan lotion, motion sickness pills etc. (for those of you who do not know Walgreens - it's a drug store)
• Do tip everyone and we mean EVERYONE, including the waiters at the dining room even if you don't eat there! So you ask, "Why tip someone who didn't serve me?" You'll find multiple answers here. 1) That guy is poor, he needs to feed his family, you're taking food out of his children's mouth if you don't tip! 2) He rotates and serves you at the Windjammer or whereever you've been eating (and we assume, you do EAT on the ship somewhere, right?) 3) He's counting on you to pay his salary because Royal Caribbean doesn't pay him enough (refer back to #1) 4) Clearly, you have more than he does if you're going on the cruise and he's working on it.
  
  Frankly, our geese really don't agree that we should tip someone who didn't work for us. That's something called "salary"...which we should be paying in our fare. Tip should be "extra"...we liked your service so we give you a "tip". However, after reading so many stories about "tip"...we now realize that "tip" is a poor name for the money. Maybe they should call it "service charge" and make it mandatory (in which case, we don't understand why it's not included in the fare...like port charges, government taxes, just add on "service charge for our poorly paid workers"). Ok...so if it makes you feel any better, let's rename "tip" as "service charge"...a non-optional fee. It's only $10 a day so we've now resigned ourselves to paying an extra $10 a day in "service charge", no skin off our beaks. However, we reserve the right to "tip" anyone who truly does something extra.
  
  "Tipping" is generally expected for Room Service (amount based on how much food is brought to your room), or extra nice room cleaning (like adding EXTRA towel animals or cleaning up a particularly bad mess...)
  
   
• Pack your patience! Yes, your patience can be tried on these cruises. As relaxing and fun as they are, this is a mini community and you do need to conform to the rules.
  
  Expect that the ship's tour will stop at the winery, the gift shop, the jewelry factory...despite 100% of the participants saying "no no, we're going to miss the ship, PLEASE drive to the port!!" That poor tour guide gets commission to bring you to the place and on what you buy. We geese feel no obligation to buy or to enjoy the silly costumes or whatever else they do to entice you out of the bus. Remember - these places have clean and numerous bathrooms for your pleasure (another great "enticement" to get you out of the bus). But don't abuse the poor guide about it - he's just doing his job and earning a living too. Our solution...we just bring our knitting and we knit while we wait. Maybe you want to bring an ipod or a book or whatever.
  
   
• Take the stairs!!! The elevators are slow. The elevators are crowded. The elevators contain children who enjoy pushing every button! The stairs are generally empty (except during muster or when exiting to the tour buses). The stairs are your "gym away from home". Those stairs are the difference between gaining 5 lbs or losing 1 lb! We geese always choose the stairs.
   

Don'ts
 

• Don't be a chair-hog! That means, don't put your towel, book, slippers etc on the chair and attempt to "reserve" that premium lawn chair for the entire day. No one minds if you put your stuff there, then run to the bar for a drink, or make a quick pit stop at the bathroom. But it's really rude to run off and go to lunch and "reserve" your chair! Other people want that nice spot too!
  
  Maybe a better strategy - hire a "chair reserver"...yes, make arrangements with some other passengers and say "Hey, I like to eat my lunch at 11:30, I hear you like to lunch at 12:30! I'll sit in this chair until 11:30, then you come, enjoy the chair while I eat my lunch, then I'll return and you can go to lunch!!!" Maybe if you buy 2-3 passengers a few drinks, they'll alternate their swim time with your lounge time, then your hottub time with your lounge time etc.
  
  An even more interesting idea...just like the horse races, maybe Royal Caribbean should have 10-15 "premium" lounge chairs that you can bid on! You gather your buds and all chip in for time on one of the premium chairs. Maybe it has better padding and definitely the premium sunning spot! It could also have a signup sheet...when you want to lounge after lunch, you'll vacate for the bingo game, then return afterwards...etc!!!
  
   
• Don't be late for dinner!!! We're referring to the dining room here. When the Compass says dinner is at 6:15, that means your butt should be in your dining room chair at 6:15. Think of this like a restaurant. Your waiter only wants to take orders once. He will wait until all the diners are seated to take orders. If dinner is at 6:15 and your butt saunters in at 6:45pm, your fellow diners have been starving for 30 mins. Worse, they're wondering, "Did she fall off the ship? What happened??? Can I get the waiter to bring some bread, I'm starving??? We'll never make it to that Burt Baccarach review later this evening if we don't order now!!!"
  
  The "solution", which we think Royal Caribbean should just dictate rather than have everyone figure out on their own, is - day 1, discuss the "rules" with your fellow diners and say "Hey, we wait 10 mins, then we order! If you're more than 10 mins later, you either skip courses or you eat at the Windjammer"
  
  If you MUST be late and you want that great dining room food (check the menus outside to see if there's a "don't miss" course), then order room service. We have considered ordering "room service" to be brought to the Windjammer...never tried it, but it's an interesting thought... Remember...extra tip is involved in "room service"
  
   
• Don't be late returning to the bus on an excursion - this really is rude. If you need your private "alone time" to shop or whatever you do when you're late, then you should reconsider whether 50 passenger group tours is for you. We geese admit, we don't always like 50 passenger group tours for this very reason!!! But when you take one, please be respectful of the other folks on tour.
  
  
• Don't bring your own beach towel and don't lose Royal Caribbean's towels! You don't need or want to bring your own towel, just to get it dirty, sandy etc!!! Just bring Royal Caribbean's towel with you. Your friendly cabin steward will send the filthy thing to the laundry, no problem. Just don't lose the towel or you will be charged. It's no more responsibility than if you lost your own towel...just take care of theirs as you would your own and you'll have a downy clean towel, fresh each morning!
  
   
• Don't eat the Chocolate buffet too early! Read the signs and check your compass carefully. There is a "viewing" for picture taking, examination, and planning of the feast! That translates to - DO NOT EAT IN THE FIRST 1/2 HOUR! You wouldn't believe how many people ruin a great picture by eating 1-2 petit fours in a perfect line up of 100! And remember..other people are strategizing, "should I have 3 chocolate covered strawberrys and skip the german chocolate cake?" "Do I go for the white chocolate mousse or the dark chocolate mousse" When you grab in advance, you ruin all the gaming and strategy involved. Never fear...there will be a crew member to tell you when it's time to dig in!!! If you think it was crowded entering that Windjammer for the photo session, you haven't seen what happens when it's eating time...
  
   
• Don't count on using the internet on the ship - let's be real. Internet is horribly expensive at 35-50c per minute. Internet is extremely slow on the ship. We found that the internet wasn't even available on many days due to satellite conditions etc. Sure, we'll use it in case of an emergency...but not for leisure reading!!!